“Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Few things can bring a parent more joy than watching a child grow into a faithful, responsible adult.
…And few things can bring a parent more heartache than watching a child walk away from everything they were taught.
That can make today’s proverb difficult to read.
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
It sounds like a guarantee: Raise your children correctly, and they will turn out well. If an adult child makes destructive choices or walks away from the Christian faith, then perhaps Mom and Dad must have done something wrong. On the one hand we want to claim our just reward for raising our kids right and on the other we get to judge other parents when their kids make poor choices. (But don’t judge me if my kids make poor choices!)
But that’s not how Proverbs work.
Proverbs generally describe how life ordinarily works according to God’s wisdom. They aren’t necessarily unconditional promises about what will happen in every circumstance. A parent can faithfully teach a child God’s Word, bring that child to worship, model the Christian faith at home, teach them right from wrong, show them responsibility, and still watch that child make foolish or sinful choices later in life.
Children aren’t machines and parenting isn’t a formula where the correct inputs guarantee the desired output.
So what does this proverb teach us?
It teaches us to take formation seriously.
Sometimes, as parents, we want to be able let the kids learn about Jesus and walking in the faith from the church, learn responsibility and knowledge from teachers, and our job is to just make sure our kids get to those places. However, parents have an enormous influence on the people their children become. What children repeatedly hear, see, and experience at home helps shape them. They learn about honesty when they watch their parents tell the truth. They learn about forgiveness when Mom or Dad says,
“I was wrong. Will you forgive me?”
They learn what matters by watching what their family makes time for.
I know that sometimes it seems like your kids don’t ever listen and that their friends and celebrities or social media influencers have more influence, but survey after survey for decades has shown that our kids say their parents are their biggest influence.
And Christian parents have been given something even greater to pass on: the Word of God.
We teach our children who Jesus is and bring them to the place where Christ serves His people through His Word and Sacraments. We pray with them and for them and remind them that when they sin, they have a Savior.
Then, we entrust them to the Lord.
That’s an important part of parenting too, because no parent can create faith in a child’s heart. We can teach and model and correct and encourage. But faith is God’s work through His Word.
That truth is especially comforting for parents carrying regrets.
Every parent has them. You are not alone.
There are moments you wish you could redo, things you wish you had handled differently, and opportunities you realize you missed. Your children’s salvation, however, does not depend upon your being a perfect parent.
They have a perfect Savior.
So faithfully teach the children God has entrusted to you. Pray for them when they are young, and keep praying when they are grown…and pray with them. Read the Bible with them and let them see you reading the Bible and praying on your own. When you fail them, ask their forgiveness and when they fail, forgive them. And whether they are walking closely with the Lord today or seem very far away, entrust them to the God who loves them even more than you do…and keep praying!
Speaking of which…
Let’s pray…
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for the children You entrust to parents and for all those You give opportunities to influence the next generation. Give us wisdom to teach Your truth faithfully and to model repentance, forgiveness, love, and wisdom. Forgive us for the ways we have failed, and keep us from placing our confidence in our own parenting. When children wander, pursue them with Your Word and draw them back to Christ. Help us faithfully do what You have given us to do and then entrust those we love into Your gracious hands.
Amen.
As part of your devotion time, I encourage you to also pray for at least some of the following:
After praying for these people, you may want to finish your devotion time with the Lord’s Prayer…
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. They will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the kingdom and the power, and the glory, forever and every. Amen.
In Christ’s Service,
Pastor Kurt
