Ask Intentional Question

How’s it going? Nice weather we’re having, isn’t it? Did you catch the game yesterday? (if we ever have sports again)

These are typical questions people have in conversations, especially when they don’t know the person well. They provide content for a conversation, but they don’t do much to help us to get to know each other or deepen our relationship.

As we connect with new people or try to deepen our relationships with people we know, it’s important to get past these surface, impersonal questions and be intentional about asking deeper questions.

You don’t need to jump into questions about the person’s marriage or beliefs. In fact, you probably shouldn’t. Getting too personal too quickly can be off-putting. However, you can ask about things specific to their life and, over time, move to more significant subjects.

Maybe it starts with questions about things their kids are doing (sports, school, etc.) or questions about project they are working on. The idea is to be intentional about talking about something that means something to them and is specific to them so you can get to know each other better.

Today: When you have a conversation with someone you don’t know well, be intentional about talking about some things that are deeper than the weather.

Tip: You Share, Too.
One thing that can really help to open up a conversation is to share something about yourself. For example, I may want to ask what someone’s kids are doing during the summer. So, I start by sharing what my kids are doing and then ask. Similarly, I may want to ask what passion project someone is working on, so I start by talking about something I’ve been working on and then ask them if they have something like that which they do that they love.