What do you look for in a friend?

A good friend doesn’t always tell you what you want to hear.

Imagine you’re about to make a decision that a close friend thinks is a terrible idea. They know you’ll probably be upset if they say it’s a bad idea. Staying quiet would certainly be easier. Others might think to themselves, “It’s really none of my business.”

But because this good friend cares about you, they speak up.

And you don’t like it.

Proverbs describes that uncomfortable experience with a surprising phrase:

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend.”

Usually, we try not to wound our friends. Yet, there are times when love requires saying something that hurts.

• Maybe a friend notices that your drinking has started getting out of control.
• Maybe you’ve been treating your spouse poorly, and everyone else has been too uncomfortable to say anything.
• Maybe bitterness toward someone has been growing for months, and you’ve become so accustomed to it that you no longer recognize what it’s doing to you.
• Maybe it’s not a matter of sin. It’s just a bad idea that won’t work out.

I had a friend once who had a body odor problem. I told him he either needed to start wearing deodorant or change deodorants or something. He was irritated at first, but later he thanked me.

A faithful friend may say, “I’m worried about you.” or “You might want to reconsider what you’re doing.”

Those words can sting.

Our first reaction may be to defend ourselves. We explain why they don’t understand the situation or point out that they have faults too. We may even become angry with the person who cared enough to speak.

Proverbs asks us to consider another possibility: What if they’re right?

That doesn’t mean every criticism should be accepted as truth. People can misunderstand us, give bad advice, or criticize for selfish reasons. Wisdom considers both the words and the person speaking them.

That’s part of the contrast in this proverb. An enemy may shower you with compliments because telling you what you want to hear serves their purposes. A true friend cares more about your good than about keeping every interaction comfortable.

This is one reason Christian community matters. We need people who will encourage us, pray with us, celebrate with us, and…sometimes…lovingly correct us.

And we need the humility to listen.

God Himself loves us this way. His Word doesn’t flatter us. It tells the truth about our sin, even when that truth hurts. God’s Law exposes things in us that we would often prefer to excuse or ignore.

But He doesn’t wound us simply to leave us wounded.

Like a doctor who tells us the diagnosis so we will take the cure, God brings our sin into the light so that He can bring us again to Christ, where there is forgiveness. The same God who tells us the uncomfortable truth about ourselves also tells us the wonderful truth about our Savior: Jesus bore that sin on the cross, and in Him we are forgiven.

So when someone who loves you offers a difficult word, resist the urge to immediately defend yourself.

Listen.

There may be a faithful wound in their words, and God may be using a good friend to give you exactly what you need.

Let’s pray…

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for the people who care enough about me to speak truth into my life. Give me humility to listen when correction is difficult to hear and wisdom to recognize faithful counsel. Forgive me for the times pride makes me defensive or unwilling to admit that I am wrong. Help me also to be a faithful friend who speaks truth with gentleness and love. Above all, thank You for Your Word, which exposes my sin but also points me to Jesus, where I find forgiveness, mercy, and new life.

Amen.

As part of your devotion time, I encourage you to also pray for at least some of the following:

• Your family
• Your local church
• Your pastor
• Some of your fellow church members
• The people on your B.L.E.S.S. list
• Your country and her leaders
• Your community

After praying for these people, you may want to finish your devotion time with the Lord’s Prayer…

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. They will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the kingdom and the power, and the glory, forever and every. Amen.