A few years ago, researchers studying communication discovered something most of us already know from experience: people often spend more time thinking about what they are going to say next than they do listening to what is currently being said.

You can almost feel it happening in a conversation.

Someone is talking, but instead of truly listening, you’re already preparing your response. You’re evaluating. Formulating. Planning your rebuttal or advice.

By the time the other person finishes speaking, you have an answer ready.

The problem is that sometimes you’re answering a question they never asked or, in your haste to answer you misunderstood the situation.

You’ve also probably been on the other side of the conversation, when you were trying to share your struggle or just tell a story from earlier that day and you can see the other person isn’t really listening or they just cut you off mid-story.

That’s the situation Proverbs addresses. It paints the picture of someone who responds before fully hearing the matter. The issue isn’t intelligence. The issue is impatience.

Wisdom listens first.

That sounds simple, but it is surprisingly difficult. Listening requires humility because it means acknowledging that we may not yet have the full picture. It requires patience because understanding takes time. And it requires self-control because our natural instinct is often to jump in quickly. We want to get out what we want to say and we may not get to.

This applies in all kinds of relationships.

• A spouse sharing a frustration after a difficult day.
• A friend wrestling with a decision.
• A coworker explaining a problem.
• A child trying to tell you what happened.

Sometimes what people need most is not immediate advice but the opportunity to be heard.

Of course, listening doesn’t mean we never speak. There are times when wisdom calls us to offer counsel, encouragement, correction, or comfort. But those words are far more likely to help when they come after careful listening rather than before it.

Jesus modeled this beautifully throughout His ministry. Although He knew people’s hearts better than they knew themselves, He often asked questions. He listened. He drew people out. He met them where they were before addressing what they needed.

What would happen if we did a little more of that?

What if today’s conversations were shaped less by the desire to be heard and more by the desire to understand?

You might discover that listening itself is one of the most loving gifts you can offer.

Let’s pray…

Heavenly Father,

You are always ready to hear Your people. You ask us to bring all things to you in prayer. You listen to our prayers, our fears, and our struggles with patience and compassion. Forgive me for the times I have been quick to speak and slow to listen. Give me a humble and attentive heart. Help me to listen carefully before I respond and to seek understanding before offering my opinion. Use me to bring encouragement and wisdom to others, and teach me to reflect Your love through the way I listen.

Amen.

As part of your devotion time, I encourage you to also pray for at least some of the following:

• Your family
• Your local church
• Your pastor
• Some of your fellow church members
• The people on your B.L.E.S.S. list
• Your country and her leaders
• Your community

After praying for these people, you may want to finish your devotion time with the Lord’s Prayer…

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. They will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the kingdom and the power, and the glory, forever and every. Amen.