Korban:

There was a practice in the Jewish church of proclaiming things or money to be Korban or dedicated to God. It would be given to the temple. If the gift was substantial, the person may gain some notoriety for being generous and devout. Think of it as if someone donated a million dollars for a new building for the church. Everyone is impressed by their generosity and dedication.

The practice of declaring things Korban was all well and good, just like giving to the church is good, but the problem was that there were people declaring their money Korban instead of caring for their aging parents. So, they gained the notoriety and honor of being generous and devout while allowing their parents to suffer in want.

Jesus rightly points out the hypocrisy of this. You aren’t being devout if you aren’t honoring and caring for your mother and father as the Commandment requires. While Jesus was addressing the hypocrisy of the Jewish leaders and the priority of God’s commands over man’s traditions, we also see that the 4th Commandment still applies in adulthood and that God cares about how we, as adult children, treat our parents.

How Do We Honor Our Parents As Adults

Obviously, the parent-child relationship changes as we enter into adulthood. Parents switch to being advisors more than ones who issue commands for their children to obey. However, we are still to respect, love, and care for our parents. So, we speak well of them, listen to them, and show proper respect to them.

I understand that some parental relationships are better than others and some parents live out their vocation as parents better than others, but God has still placed them in that vocation and we are still called to respect the position God has placed them in. As much as possible, we should try to keep contact and maintain a good relationship with them. We are also to care for them as they age and need assistance.

Caring For Our Parents:

Caring for our parents will look different depending on your situation. Things like your family/living situation, their desires, and their needs will all affect what the best means will be for you to care for your parents.

As much as possible, we want to allow our parents to maintain their dignity and pride. So, we try not to treat them as children, although sometimes as mental faculties decrease you may need to do so.

For some, caring for your parents will mean bringing them into your home. For others, caring for your parents will mean finding a good assisted living facility or nursing home. Some parents may still live in their own homes, but need help around the house. None of these are commanded or forbidden by Scripture. The Scriptures say we are to care for them, but not how we should do that.

You may find that living together works well for you. You may also determine that you are unable to provide the care your parents need in your home. I also know some seasoned citizens who prefer to live in an assisted living facility because they can make friends and do activities. This decision is a matter of prayer and loving discussion between you, your family, and your parents.

Speaking of prayer, pray for your parents. Pray for their health and pray for their faith. If they don’t know the Lord, pray that they would come to know Him through the witness of your care or your conversations. Pray for wisdom and discernment for both of you as you make these decisions. Pray for yourself and your family as you make adjustments and sacrifices in the care of your parents. Pray.

Finally, I would encourage you to include your parents, when possible, in a type of family devotion. This may include your children (their grandchildren) or just you and them. Pray with them. Read the Bible with them. Talk about God with them. They are going through a lot of changes and need the strength and assurance of Christ. You, too, may be dealing with some difficult times seeing your parents struggle. You, too, need the strength and assurance of Christ.

Whatever decisions you make in the care of your parents, the goal is to show love and respect while making sure your parents are well cared for. Your love will show them God’s love and will make what can be a frightening and frustrating transition easier. They will know you love them. They will know God loves them. Together, you can experience the joy of Christ in your homes.

God bless!