Have you ever had to tell someone something you knew they wouldn’t want to hear?

As a pastor, there are times I have to speak a word of truth to someone who really doesn’t want to hear it. I shouldn’t really say, “As a pastor,” because this is really something we all deal with.

The temptation is to ignore the truth, just keep it tucked away so the other person won’t have to deal with the uncomfortable or even painful effects of the truth.

Is it loving to withhold the truth?

On the other hand, there are times we feel like we absolutely have to tell someone the “cold, hard truth” no matter what and we just hit them over the head with it.

I remember a guy who would show up on campus from time to time during my college days. He would confront anyone and everyone and attack them with God’s Law. He didn’t care if the person was a Christian or not or if they were sorry for their sin, he just kept beating people with the law.

Is it loving to beat someone up with the truth?

Ephesians 4:15 gives us some guidance. Yes, we should speak the truth, but do so with gentleness. Our goal is not to hurt people with the truth. Our goal is to help them grow up in every way into Christ.

• When we have to confront with sin, we do so gently with the intent of leading to repentance and reconciliation.
• When we have to inform someone of something unpleasant, we do so gently and in love.