What was it like for you to grow up?

Growing up can be fun and exciting. It can also be difficult and frustrating. We all have to do it. In fact, one of the growing problems in our society is adults who refuse to grow up and act like adults.

Failing to Launch
Why do people “fail to launch,” as they say (fail to grow up)? There are several reasons, but two of the most significant reasons are reality and responsibility.

• Reality – In our youth, we can live in a bit of a fantasy world. The older we get the more reality pushes its way in, but sometimes people don’t like the reality we see. So, they refuse to accept it, choosing to live in a more comforting fantasy. However, these fantasy worlds have a way of collapsing, usually with a great deal of pain as reality forces its way in.
• Responsibility – Responsibility is the other challenge. It’s more fun to be able to do whatever you want. It’s also less stressful and there are fewer disappointments. However, there are also fewer successes and triumphs, fewer satisfying moments, and other people suffer for the person’s failure to take responsibility.

Growing Up in Christ
Growing up spiritually isn’t much different. It can be fun and exciting as well as difficult and frustrating. Yet, we need to do it. One of the big problems in the church is Christians refusing to grow up in the faith. Just as with physical maturity, reality and responsibility get pushed aside.

• Reality – As we grow in our faith, we must face certain realities. It may be wrestling with certain Bible passages, accepting that certain things we like to do are sinful, realizing that God allows suffering, or something else.

Sometimes, in order to avoid these realities, people close themselves off from these realities, maybe even choosing to go to a church that allows them to remain spiritually immature, telling them what they want to hear, rather than what they need to hear. Again, these realities have a way of pushing their way through the fantasy at some point, often in more painful ways.

• Responsibility – People also choose to push off responsibility. They chose to just show up on the occasional Sunday rather than accept that they are responsible for their church and the people in the church. Perhaps they ignore the responsibility of reaching out to their neighbor or helping those in need.

A life with little or no spiritual responsibility is easier and more comfortable, but it never sees the exciting moments, like when a neighbor who had been resistant to Christianity for years, is drenched in the waters of baptism or a struggling member of the community gets back on their feet or a graduating high school student in the church shares how much those Sunday school lessons meant to them.

Speaking the Truth in Love
In order to grow up physically and spiritually, we need to hear the truth. It allows us to move out of the fantasies into reality. It challenges us to take responsibility for ourselves and others.

We need to hear that truth in love, though. Love always seeks to build up. When the truth is hard, it brings that truth gently. It doesn’t ignore the truth for temporary comfort but stretches us out of our comfort zone so we can grow.

We also need to speak the truth in love. We don’t walk this life of faith alone. We journey together. We are responsible for each other. We care for one another. So, we help each other grow in our faith, growing closer to Christ the head of the church, and growing closer to each other as well.

Heavenly Father,

Put those people in my life who will speak the truth in love to me, that I may grow in faith and life, accepting reality and responsibility. Then, give me the love and courage to be that person for someone else, speaking the truth in love to them, helping them to grow as well.

Amen.