“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” – Ephesians 5:22-27
How do you show love to your spouse?
Over the years, I have heard a lot about the first part of this passage. On the one hand, men have used this passage to subjugate women in demeaning and humiliating ways. On the other hand, women have railed against the church as sexist.
Context Matters
The first part of this passage, however, must be read with the second.
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her“
Jesus loves us, the church. He came not to be served, but to serve. He came to give up His life for us. If you ask me, the harder command here is to the husband who is called to selflessly serve his wife and be willing to give up everything for her just as Jesus did for us.
The Two Way Street of Love
What this passage really describes is the mutual love and service of husband for wife and wife for husband, each looking after the needs of the other. There is an order, but not one that is domineering. There is no need to fear submission when you submit to someone who knows you, cares deeply for you, and desires to serve you.
In fact, the verse before this passage (vs 21) says that husbands and wives should submit to one another.
I’ve often described this to couples about to get married that when the wife cares for her husband’s needs and the husband cares for his wife’s needs, everyone’s needs are met in love and not selfishness.
How can you show your spouse love, today?
Dear Jesus,
You demonstrated love for us. You loved us perfectly and selflessly. Help me to love others in the same way.
Amen.
In Christ’s Service,
Pastor Kurt
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